Saturday night was great. Sunday was rough. Luckily the Three Amigos have the perfect cure: dive-bar burgers! A late night gave way to a late start to the day (Mike and I imbibed in copious libations, Trina just has bronchitis), so the Amigos convened at Tony Frank's in the mid afternoon. This place is basically a house converted into a bar. Whatever imagery that conjures in your mind is probably accurate. Luckily, the weather was great and we got to sit outside for the first time on our tour. The restaurant/house/bar is located just off the Beltline. I think I would have preferred lakeside or near a nice park, but Trina seemed to enjoy the serene sounds of cars and trucks rushing by.
- Madison Magazine did not specify the type of burger we had to eat, so there was some decision making that went into this one. I went with bleu cheese and bacon because those things are simply delightful on ground beef. I found this to be true of the Tony Frank's burger.
- The bleu cheese was melted on top, which is the way I prefer it rather than sprinkled after the burger comes off the grill. The bacon was perfectly cooked, just slightly crunchy and served in large quantities.
- I asked for medium and got well-done. I'm not too picky, so this didn't really detract from the experience. If I wanted a burger cooked right, I wouldn't go to a bar.
- The burger itself comes on a wheat bun (healthy!) and is very simple. Simple and delicious.
- It is served on a tin plate, nothing fancy, but still nicer than the plastic baskets I expected them to come in.
Ned -
Tony Franks - Tangy Blue Cheese with Bacon
Tony Franks is what I like to call a “housebar”
Definition: \haus-bar\ noun
A-a bar that was once a house
B-a drinking establishment, formerly a building that served as living quarters for one or a few families
Origin: middle-of-nowhere Wisconsin
Given the definition and origin above, I was unsure after finding out that this “housebar” was near downtown Madison and literally twenty feet or so from the highway (Beltline). But Trina, who had eaten a burger from here no less than 20 hours prior, insisted that their burger and drinks were perfect for this beautiful Sunday afternoon.
- Decor – because of the unseasonably spectacular Madison weather, we decided to sit outside on a picnic table. Other than the loud highway and the fact that our picnic table was on a 20-degree angle, it was your typical housebar… multiple “rooms”, a bar, and a jukebox.
- Service – the service was fast and sufficient, with the exception of us not getting any napkins until after our greasy appetizer.
- Food (the important stuff)
- Beer – It’s a housebar. If you think I’m going to drink anything but Pabst Blue Ribbon (aka “best-in-show”), then you don’t know me very well and probably shouldn’t be my facebook friend/twitter follower.
- Burger – Exactly the kind of burger I was hoping for at this sort of establishment. Well-cooked greasy meat, plenty of thick cut bacon (that magically was both crispy and soggy), blue cheese, ketchup/mustard, on a whole wheat bun. Wait… whole wheat, you say? Yes, I’ve got to watch my girlish figure somehow, right?
- Sides – Lava-hot fried mushrooms, jalapeno poppers, crinkle cut fries, and thick onion rings. The “housebar Grand Slam”… served with salsa (???)
After dinner, the amigos decided to take advantage of the weather and go to another bar (… only in Wisconsin) for a few hours. We then hit up the new movie that all the kids these days are talking about. Not sure exactly what I was expecting out of a movie titled The Hunger Games, but let’s just say it wasn’t children killing other children with a brick. I’m glad I didn’t get popcorn.
TLDR – If you like housebars as much as I do, Tony Franks should be on your short list. Also, if you ever find yourself on a “game show” where you have to kill all the other participants, watch for presents falling from the sky.
In an interesting turn of events, I ended up eating this week’s burger twice in 24 hours. I’m compiling a list of things that make Mike and Jason mad at me (despite the fact they are both pretty easy going guys). Currently the running list includes accusing them of not looking up the hours to a restaurant prior to our arrival and making reference to the fact I’ve never actually seen our namesake movie, Three Amigos. So here’s the third thing: previewing the next burger on the list without them. Long story still long, I was out bar hopping in a limo for my friends 40th Saturday night and ironically the birthday girl’s dinner stop was Tony Frank’s. I just happened to order a bacon cheeseburger and stupidly chose to pull out my phone and tell the boys about it. You’d think I had broken up with them via text.
So in the end, I returned with Mike and Jason to Tony Frank’s on Sunday, a mere 18 hours later, and ordered the same thing I had the night before – a bacon cheeseburger. Though with different friends, at a different table, and with a different amount of alcohol in my system, I found I was equally charmed by Tony Frank’s both days.
- Atmosphere – When our birthday bar crawl limo pulled up Saturday night and there wasn’t an open seat in the house, I was shocked. The place was hopping. When I rolled in at 3:00 pm on a Sunday in my Ford Escape, I was still amazed at how difficult it was to get an outdoor table. Apparently everyone else realizes that in addition to the Arboretum, there’s actually a second legit reason to take the Seminole Highway Beltline exit. So in the Sunday sunshine I scored us the last open picnic table. It happened to be very slanted and we came dangerously close to our beers sliding off. I think Mike and Jason thought I was being sarcastic, but I found the view and sounds of the beltline unusually soothing.
- Apparel – worth noting this burger, our matching t-shirts came in and Jason did a pretty darn good job with them. The size I ordered before is now somewhat “form fitting.” I’m a little nervous that by the end of this burger tour mine won’t fit anymore. When that happens, I’m going to claim I lost it, which will be the fourth thing that makes Mike and Jason really mad at me.
- Taste – Even with Bronchitis (yes, the boys have been putting up with a hacking dinner companion since two burgers ago) I still was able to identify a fantastic burger when I put it in my mouth. There was no skimping on the bacon here; we had a choice of cheese and I would argue that cheddar was the correct choice both times. I finished my burger Saturday, I finished my burger Sunday, and if we went back tonight, yeah, I’d finish it then too.
- Sides – we opted out of the baskets and went for a “Choose Four” appetizer. The fries tasted as I expected for bar fries (especially because I had them the night before), burnt my mouth on the mushrooms, the jalapeno poppers were delicious but tasted like every other jalapeno popper I’ve ever had, but I have to vote the Onion Rings as the best I’ve ever had. I don’t think I’ve ever had as crispy or delicious of Onion Rings in my life. No joke. They must have like quadruple fried them. Interesting to note – the waitress brought us out ranch and salsa before eventually producing a bottle of ketchup. Even this morning when I was getting ready for work, I still wondered, “what was that salsa for?” We may never know.
- Beer – This isn’t a place you’re going to go to try out lots of new microbrews. The most exotic (and expensive) beer on tap was a Hopalicious, which I love. Mike went with the PBR. Though a commendable choice, I’ve been eating with these boys long enough to know we split the bill equally three ways. No reason to be a martyr and order the cheapest beer at the table.
Bottom Line: Awesome burgers, surprisingly enjoyable atmosphere, and I left completely satisfied (twice in one weekend mind you). On Sunday after I ate my last bite of burger, I mentioned that I felt like I was going into a burger coma. Mike’s response: “But wouldn’t that be a great way to go?” Yes Mike, yes it would.
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